Some people, I am not one, find it very difficult to take time off from work.

My clients in sales, who rely on commissions, are particularly reluctant to go away. They worry about (read more…)

Popularity: 14%

Be nice or be heard? It’s hard to have it both ways. It can be done. If you are really skilled in dealing with people and at articulating your points without raising the ire or defenses of those to whom you appeal.

I’m sorry to tell you my passive sweeties (read more…)

Popularity: 8%

There was a piece in Annie’s mailbox yesterday on a troubled family relationship. Since I’m in the advice biz I’m always curious about what others have to say. Sometimes I disagree with their response and it’s great fodder for my blog. I also think they tend toward the passive and polite which is okay sometimes but  that approach is unlikely to effect change going forward.

This woman wrote in about her daughter who has had “behavioral and psychological issues her whole life”. Her daughter, now 40 and a mother herself, has been “drinking, doing drugs, becoming unemployed and spending too much money.” The police have been to their house for domestic voilence issues and (read more…)

Popularity: 21%

You know those times when you have a disagreement or a misunderstanding, emotions are running high, no one is listening, people are defensive and you have to walk away? Or maybe it’s a just a dysfunctional, screwed up relationship that you are tired of and want to change or walk away from. Often there is just no getting through to people in the moment.

Think about writing the other party a letter. A well written letter can produce powerful results. It can: (read more…)

Popularity: 17%

At  Christmas time, I blogged about calling your clients to wish them a happy holiday instead of pushing against the emotions of the season and trying to meet with clients who are not inclined to do so at that time of year. 

Let’s take this a step further. In your business, do you send Christmas cards and birthday cards to all your clients?  Or even to your clients’ children? I remember every single year when I was a kid I received a birthday card from my parents’ insurance agent. I had never met the guy and wouldn’t know him on the street. I thought this was stupid then and I still do.

There are people in this industry and maybe in others too, who still follow this old tradition and send, or probably have their assistant send, birthday and holiday cards to all their clients. I truly think this is largely ineffective and a waste of time. (read more…)

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I listened in on a web cast the other night by Bill Baren, www.BillBarenCoaching.com called “the big income shift. It was about five big shifts you can make to substantially increase your income in 2010. Bill made some very good points and there’s one in particular I’d like to expand on.

Bill talked about the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are “where you want to be” as far as income. Many people tend to hang with people who are LESS successful. It feeds their ego and makes them feel “better”. And it keeps them where they are.

 Without a doubt, the strategy he talked about is a much smarter one. AND it has to be done right. Some nuances, if I may. Make sure your integrity around this is intact. Yes, surround yourself with people who are earning the income you aspire to AND make sure you like and respect these people!

On the other end, carefully evaluate those you may want to spend less time with. Weed them out gradually and don’t burn bridges. I think the trick with this strategy is to manage the delicate balance of achieving the goal while not losing the respect of others and yourself.

Ready to try this and make 2010 a banner year?

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I watched this unfold with a friend of mine last week. Her 12 year old son, taking steps toward independence sees an opportunity. His mom is sick, it’s a school day, and he wants her to be able to stay in bed so he tells her he will set his own alarm, get his own breakfast, pack his lunch and make the bus without her help. His mom is skeptical. She has her doubts that her son will even get himself out of bed much less watch the clock and catch the bus on time but she feels like crap and agrees to sleep in.

The morning goes off without a hitch and mom is really surprised. And impressed. She can’t bel (read more…)

Popularity: 42%