Our friend Damon stopped by this afternoon. He told us it’s his wedding anniversary today but money is tight and life is a little tough at his house these days so he wasn’t planning anything special. He cares for his wife and wanted to do something nice but I suspect they are in a “rut”. He really wasn’t feeling any energy and didn’t want to spend much money. Basically, I think he just wanted to do enough to have sex tonight.

I suggested he make a nice dinner for her (it’s Saturday and she was at work). He explained that at their house, all they eat is “welfare food”. Processed, pre-packaged, chemical ridden junk. If you can call that food. His initial reaction to my idea of a really nice meal was that it would cost too much.  I figured that given their usual diet, a nice dinner could score him even more points.

“It doesn’t have to be expensive. Macaroni costs pennies”, I said. “Make a nice plate of pasta. You can get a bag of raw, frozen shrimp for $7.99 and cook them yourself in a little olive oil and garlic, add a green veggie like asparagus or baby spinach for color. It will be beautiful and delicious and really nice.”

Damon was still a bit dubious and not sure this was worth the effort. “You’re not thinking about this right”, I told him. “You may actually get laid tonight, but do it my way and you’ll be having sex all week!” Or for as long as she is still remembering what you did for her. He looks at Jim and says, “She really gets the big picture here, doesn’t she?”

He was starting to get excited about the idea.  Jim suggested Penne but I nixed that. Penne is what kids order in a restaurant and it looks liked baked ziti. “Go for something more elegant like angel hair”, I said. “Ooooh, I like angel hair”, he said, “I’ll do that.” He questioned whether he had to buy a head of garlic, “YES”, I said.

I gave him a few quick cooking tips like mince the garlic fine, add it at the end so it doesn’t burn, cook the shrimp in a little bit of olive oil just til it turns pink and firm and don’t let it sit and get mushy. Add some tiny spinach greens ’cause they won’t add much flavor but will make for a more colorful meal. Drizzle some olive oil on the pasta, and splurge on a tiny hunk of parmesan or romano cheese to grate on top. “Don’t you DARE put cheese from a green can on this dinner!”

NOW he was getting really psyched! “Mmmmmmmmm, he said, “I’m getting hungry just thinking about it”. People do get jazzed when they hear me talk about food! Okay, add some candles, use a table cloth, even if you have to substitute a bed sheet, and a single flower in a little glass would be a nice touch. And don’t forget some good music; stuff she likes. It will be beautiful and she’ll really appreciate the effort and feel cared for and hopefully amorous.

Damon was on a mission. He said, “This is great, I’m goin’ to the store right now.”

I don’t know how the evening turned out (yet) but I do know that Damon was focusing on what he couldn’t do and not seeing what was possible. It was very touching to see him brighten at the prospect of doing something special for his wife in honor of their anniversary. As Mother Teresa said, “We cannot do great things on this earth, we can only do small things with great love.” Sometimes, while we are waiting for great things, we miss the opportunity to do the little ones.

If you weren’t feeling bad about great things that are not possible, what could you come up with?

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