Okay, this really has to be addressed ’cause a lot of people are just not getting it. And that includes adults. I have taken issue with call waiting since it first came out, like 30 years ago or something. I thought it was rude then and it’s grown into a norm these days that is even more unacceptable to me. Obviously it’s very useful but could we please use it with some discretion?

When you are talking with someone, on the phone or especially in person, IT IS RUDE to take a call from someone else.

 How many times in the last month have you been talking with someone and were asked to hold while the person took another call? How did you feel? Like your dialogue was uninteresting? Like the other party was more important than you? How long were you kept waiting? I had one person say to me when we were “beeped” in on, “ I don’t know who this is. Hang on”. I was less important than a stranger!

Many people are simply incapable of ignoring a ringing phone.  In the company of another, this can be very rude. During work, it can hurt their own productivity. A few reasons to ignore a ringing phone:

• Your agenda remains the priority. Why let the needs of a random caller interupt your work flow? 
• Hopefully the caller will leave a detailed voice mail, allowing you to get answers or take action before calling them back  thereby having one efficient call instead of two possibly more lengthy ones.
• Maybe the caller will bother someone else! If you are always available, why would they?
• Voice mail exists for a good reason.

Of course there are circumstances (a call from the doctor or from the school regarding your child) in which it is fine to take an incoming call when you are “with” someone. But do use good judgement as to whether it warrants the interruption. If you truly need to answer the call, they key is to do it with grace and thoughtfulness.  

• If you are expecting an important call, say so ahead of time and explain that is the only call you will take.
• Be brief. If you must take the call, explain to the caller that you are with someone, then make the conversation as brief as possible.
• Don’t leave people on hold! If it’s going to be more than a few seconds, arrange to call back later.
• When you’ve finished the call, apologize for the interuption.
• Quickly resume the conversation you were having before the interuption.

This is polite. It makes people feel good. Like you care. Like you are really listening to what they have to say. If this is not true, fake it or disengage graciously.

Answering every call has become a norm with many young people. Just because it is accepted behavior within their circles, does not not mean it is a generally accepted practice. It’s not and I hope it never is. And the danger is that it becomes such a habit for them that they answer the phone anytime, anywhere without question. This is sure to leave a bad impression or offend.

 I will bet sombeody out there could make a pretty good argument for answering every call, especially in certain types of businesses. But as a friend of mine says, ” You’re just not that important!”

I’d love to know. What are your thoughts on this phone thing?

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