The other day, we had a problem with both the computers the kids use. I recognize that it is precisely because the kids use these computers that they have problems but……..what are ya going to do?

Because the man in the house was not home at the time, the girls decided to just walk away from the problem, waiting until he came home to ask him to fix it. Of course, I have a couple of problems with this plan.

First, I wouldn’t want to come home from work anytime between 6 and 7:30, as he would, and be hit with a problem that “has to be fixed RIGHT NOW!” before I even took my coat off. How annoying is that?!

But there’s a bigger thing going on here. Dad is a “fixer”. He likes to ride to the rescue and take care of things for people, especially his daughters. An admirable trait mind you and one I have taken advantage of myself on many occasions. The problem is that it can send a message to kids that they aren’t capable of handling problems on their own. In this case they are girls. Are they getting the idea that they need a man to fix things every time they have a problem? I really hope not. 

Many parents are reluctant to let their kids try to troubleshoot on their own as they may screw things up even worse, creating a bigger nightmare for parents. What may have taken dad or mom twenty minutes to fix is now a major, all evening pain the butt! Naturally, parents want to avoid that scenario so they tell their kids if something goes wrong, just call me, don’t touch anything.     

 I have always told my daughter that I help people who help themselves. If I see you down in the muck working the problem and trying your own solutions, I’ll be right down in it with you. On the other hand, if you are waiting for me before you even TRY to think it through yourself or get started, I’m not as inclined to lend a hand. 

To me, something is wrong with the picture of the kid going off to talk on the phone or get a snack while the parent fixes what the kid, in all likelihood, made a mess of. This is an opportunity for your kid to learn how to problem solve and possibly how to prevent problems in the future.

So how can you strike a happy medium here? 

• Choose your teaching opportunities based on disaster potential.
• Tell your kids, flat out, that they are smart and capable and they don’t need your help as much as they think they do. BTW…..This phrase is a great one to use when you want to get out of helping them with homework
• Give your kids some basic knowledge of electronics, gear, equipment around the house so they can do some things on their own and don’t have to run to you for every little problem. 
• Unless the “fix” is really complicated or will take a long time, walk them through it while you work. Explain what you are doing, how you might figure out what the problem is, what you might do to fix it. 
• Let ‘em have at it when you can. The pride in solving a problem themselves will not only make them feel good, it will give them confidence to tackle the next one.

As with anything, start young or you’re screwed! 

What can you do to prevent your daughters (or sons) from being the employee who calls IT before they even reboot?

Popularity: 33%