Last night I went to hear a presentation on ADHD and how it effects relationships. The topic is probably irrelevant because it’s what happens after these kinds of things that drives me crazy. The presenter was engaging, knowledgeable and clearly enjoyed her work in this area. So naturally, when she concluded her talk, many people were anxious to have a private word with her on the subject. I was no exception.

You know how people rush to the front as soon as the presentation is over. A line was quickly forming so I used the ladies room, arranged to meet a friend in the bar and chatted with a few people I knew in the hopes that meanwhile the line would be dwindling. I joined the line behind about six people who were still waiting. This was an uptight line. Instead of chatting with one another about the presentation people were riveted on the person who had the speaker’s ear, literally willing them to hurry up, looking like if they took their eyes off them, someone would cut in front of them in line. What kills me is this.  When they finally got their turn, not one of those people seemed to remember that others were still waiting. 

Everyone there had a right to a few words with the speaker as long as she was willing. And it’s very powerful when you meet someone who “gets it”, especially when you’re feeling alone and misunderstood. But a FEW words is what should be exchanged here people. This is not the appropriate time or place to tell your life story, get a diagnosis, or enjoy a private audience with an expert. Other people are also waiting. One after another these people monopolized this woman as if her sole purpose that night was to meet them, listen to them, advise them.  They seemed completely oblivious to the line behind them where moments ago they too had been waiting.

 The woman directly in front of me was the worst offender. Or maybe it just seemed that way ’cause I was next! She went on and on with her diatribe in hushed tones so no one would overhear. THREE times I heard the speaker tell her to enter her contact information on the evaluation form and she would be in touch. Sounds like a pretty clear “we’re done here” if ever I’ve heard one. But do you think she got it? The presenter’s daughter even interupted them once, clutching her school books and asking when they could go ’cause she was tired and STILL the woman kept going. Unbelievable.

It was now 35 minutes after the program was supposed to finish up. I felt bad enough for the kid that I almost gave up (in?) and walked away without introducing myself at all.  Granted, the speaker could have asserted a little more control and moved people along. And ADHD can cause some people to have difficulty picking up on these subtle signals, reading body language, etc. But sometimes, people are just plain rude.

How do you behave/react in these types of situations? 

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