This story may leave you wondering if I simply think too much. I do. But I think it’s probably true that all of us could give a little more thought to the affect our own attitudes can have on a child.

I was waiting in the dentist’s office this morning and a young boy, maybe 10, was amusing me. Not intentionally. I don’t even think he noticed me. He was looking at comics and chattering on to his dad about this and that, clearly bright and animated. He got up when they called his name to “come on back” and an assistant came to escort him.

Still chatty, he looked up at her and said he had a loose tooth, stopping midway down the hall to show her which one it was. It was her response I found interesting. She patted him on the shoulder and said in a very reassuring tone, “Oh, that’s alright. You want to lose those baby teeth”.  Why did she think he was worried or concerned about it? He didn’t sound worried. He sounded conversational.

I found her response fascinating. (See, that’s the thinking too much part.) I know if that kid had told me he had a loose tooth I would have been excited, like, “Wow, that’s so cool! Are you wiggling it all the time? When do you think it will come out?” 

What two very different responses we had, she and I. It’s not that her response was bad. She was trying to make him feel better I’m sure. I just don’t quite understand why. Maybe she was anxious about things as a kid and didn’t get a lot of reassurance herself so now she makes sure to ease all the little minds she can. Who knows?

 So, what effect does this approach have on a child? If the adults in his life are always comforting and soothing him with the assumption he is nervous and needs reassurance, will that mold him into an uneasy adult often needing comfort? Will the excited response on the other hand help him to become more carefree, possessing faith in whatever comes? I kinda think so.

What do you think?

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