You CAN get your kids to do what you want. For the most part. If you just train ‘em when they’re young.

So, my daughter’s friend Nora underwent minor surgery last week. Nora went home that day but would have to be confined to her bed for the next several days. My daughter made a giant card for her and brought it to school with a dozen different colored sharpies and had as many people as she could, sign the card with get well wishes. It was fun and colorful and cheerful just like Nora.

I drove her over to Nora’s the next day to deliver the card, share a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and have a quick visit. I waited in the car ’cause I was finishing a really good book (thanks Anna Quindlen, http://www.randomhouse.com/rhpg/annaquindlen/). Nora’s dad came home while I was waiting in the drive, we chatted and he asked me to come in.

I looked at my watch and told him I had given my daughter ’til 4:30 to visit and since it was almost that now, I would take a rain check. He asked, “well, but will she actually be out at 4:30 or is she like Nora?” I thought about that for a second and responded, “yeah, she probably will, she’s good about that. ” He looked skeptical so I explained with no remorse at all, “I threatened her when she was little.”

He gave me the raised eyebrow so I figured I better say more about that. I told him that I used to tell her, “okay we’re here at the playground, pool, whatever, and we’re gonna have some fun but when I say it’s time to go, that’s it. It’s time to go. I will tell you once. If you don’t come when I say it’s time to go, we’re not coming back. It’s your choice.” Very sweetly uttered, but a threat nonetheless.  And she knew I was good for it.

I no sooner explained this to him than the front door opened and my daughter emerged. He looked at his watch. Huh, 4:30. You should have seen his face! He was clearly impressed.  She came over, said hello to him, got in the car and we left. No complaints, she just thanked me for bringing her over. 

I was telling my mother about this ’cause the timing was just excellent and funny. We talked about how many parents we’d seen repeatedly calling for their kids to get out of the pool or come off the playground, literally begging their kids, even whining, “c’mon Johnny, NOW”. The kids don’t even turn their heads. They pay no attention whatsoever. I thought to myself, “I’m not puttin’ up with that crap.” And I don’t. And neither should you.

Are you?

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